This Fortune Cookie Thinks It Knows My Life
We want the testimony but not the test. You don’t have to suffer to learn something in life but you do have to get out there and try.
Here is a fortune cookie for you.
I faithfully eat fortune cookies. I love the kinda-vanilla-flavor crunch and the attitude they give me as they stab the roof of my mouth then settle down into the sticky paste that gets all up in your teeth. It’s a love/hate relationship with more love than hate. It is also part of a personal tradition.
I have a ritual: I eat one half of the cookie, pull out the life-changing slip of paper, then eat the other half as I read the fortune. It’s like I’m eating the advice as I read it. We become one, the fortune and I. Judge me not! It works for me. But let me share with you the latest fortune I received that put me on edge:
Why am I being treated this way by this fortune?
Wait a minute, now. What happened to “You will have many riches approaching soon!” or “The way of the lark will guide your journey to serenity and happiness!” Peep the exclamation points. Fortune cookies used to be about the joy of life and spreading kindness or whatever. I just wanted an inspiring snack that would lie to me sweetly. Instead I got First Holy Spirit Conglomerate Beliefs of Fried Rice and Low Mein Church realness. So excuse me, Elder Fortune Cookie, I want my experience back.
Also, those who know me know that I have a true incompatibility with attitude and preachy talk. The cliché of using “testimony” and “test” together…that’s cringe-worthy. Oh and get into the “we” which really means “you”. One of the oldest tricks in the book that super grown folks use to make you feel bad while throwing the rock and hiding their hand, but you still see the arm lowering cause they not too interested in making sure you ain’t see them throw it in the first place. I peep your usage of “we”, Elder Fortune. I peep it.
I’ve never felt this chastised by my food before, especially not a minuscule dessert treat that stuffs me just a little bit more after chomping on Garlic Surprise and Sesame Chicken.
Who made this cookie my grandmother? Who made this cookie Cicely Tyson giving a Lifetime Achievement speech at the NAACP Image Awards in her best dress?
Why is this fortune telling me how all its life it had to fight? Who is the bitter writer typing these (un)fortunes? And, the real question, what am I supposed to do now with these tears of shame because I definitely received a whooping when I ain’t did nothing?
But let me be real, this fortune cookie is trying to speak a word into my life. In its own little crispy version of cynicism it is telling the truth. Young leaders of tomorrow, you don’t have to suffer to learn something in life but you do have to get out there and try. You have to fail to get used to the feeling. You have to step out on a limb and let the sucker buckle beneath you. Maybe when you fall you will snag on another limb, find a new opportunity. Maybe you’ll have to start all over again. But that is alright! Don’t even dust yourself off. Let the dirt stick on you. Let people see that you have lived your Chaka Khan moment by going through the fire, to the limit, through whatever! Ok, Elder Fortune. I’ll get your sweet tea ready.
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~Phillip
Glappitnova unites influencers and talent from different industries through storytelling, performances, classes, and events for one crazy 8 day experience in Chicago.
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